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Monet Painting.

November 20th, 2009 (01:28 am)

Humans struggling to frame the concept and enormity of life with thought and word are pretty much like ants trying to describe human intelligence.

Ironic.

Life, rebelliously defying our grandiose expectations of it, is actually small and simple, and that is the hardest thing to swallow. An equation for frustration and futility, I would think.

Task follows task, and relationships break down into simple word and deed. The grand notion of life sometimes disintegrates into the tiniest things, and suddenly you keep forgetting what it was all about in the first place. Kinda like a quip I heard about a Monet painting once. Beautiful from far, but when you get close, really a big old mess. I wouldn’t say life is a mess, but it has that same ability to be surprisingly different from what you first expected.

And yet that little something inside us keeps hoping that there was something more to this; I suppose you can call it Hope and Will to live.

Perhaps the most crippling thing is imagining that life and destiny really is larger than it is. Even the greatest successes last for one great gleaming moment. And then the next moment happens and all that remains is the simple human, whether he likes it or not. The achievement doesn’t always stay behind.

Perhaps the most confounding thing to the complex mind and the dreamer is that life really, actually, is small and simple.

But there was beauty meant for simple things, and it is everything to the person who finds it.

I R Creatiff.

August 27th, 2009 (10:31 am)

Found this lil' entry online on the manufactured styles of today. I emphatize, and I agree.

You can't can and sell individuality.

This entry also says 'I'm so lazy to blog I'm posting someone else's writings'.

But enjoy anyways.Hoho.

INSPIRATION NATION

In case you hadn't noticed, over the last 5 years 'Cool' has become a very ubiquitous, easy-to-own commodity. Let's face it, everyone is 'cool' these days. It's also the most overused word in the western world, a sure sign of its bastardization. Cool is easy to market, sell and to certain degrees achieve, with the right look, stance, sound, you are ready-made cool - just check out how many Sienna Millers there are walking down the street or how many Beyoncès there are in the charts and you get the point. This is not a good thing. It's making us all the same - so when will we get tired of looking at each other? Whereas pop culture used to be about celebrating differences, now they are hard to spot. Cool and Consumerism go hand in hand - people believe that to be 'cool' they have to buy a massive amount - you have to have the 'right' bag, shades, jeans, t shirts, cap, accessories, ipod, car - it's never-ending, not to mention expensive.

What is infinitely harder to own is creativity. The truly creative people of the art, fashion, design and music scenes - these are our new heroes. Creativity is looked up to nowadays. Creativity is Cool (ha ha). But in order for these people to flex their genius, they need something magic, something you can't bottle, manufacture, package or sell, no matter how much those celebrity magazines would love to sell it to the masses. What we're talking about is inspiration. Once inspired, these people are producing work that really astounds us, that takes us someplace else, that moves us, that thrills us, that in turn inspires us do something great.

Getting inspired in today's culture is no easy task. It's hard to be fresh when fresh has become a commodity, when happiness has become fashionshaped, and fashion has shifted from niche pursuit to easy-access shorthand for cool. Like pulling up your hoodie to get an instant toughness boost or feeling 10% smarter because you've got new shoes on. The old signifiers of youth style and culture - music, and particularly, fashion? have become easy-access.

In short, everyone has become fashion-able. Not fashionable, you note, just able to grab hold of this week's trends with a lunchtime purchase of some cheap white pumps or a faux cameo necklace. Super-hip stylist Christiane Joy claims to have almost dropped out of the global in-on-Monday, out-by-Wednesday fashion roundabout, preferring jeans, a shirt and less obvious signals to her style: a pair of sneakers customized by a hip friend, or pumps in just the right shade of blue. Perhaps that's the answer - subtle as the new black. It's an argument that old-school music purists have had with the Limewire generation since the first Napster file-swap happened. Forget the days when it took commitment to get music (ever thought about how hard it was for Mick Jagger to get those Muddy Waters records?).

The sheer volume of music that's available to all of us might irritate the purists but it hasn't dampened music's ability to inspire us, nor has it turned down the creativity of acts making music now. As Stewart Copeland (of The Police) points out, "the quantity of music available has gone up, but the quality is still there". The early noughties have been characterized by a stampede of bands (just think about The Flaming Lips, The Gossip, even bloody Justin Timberlake now he's hooked up with the on-form-again Timbaland) that have blended the boundaries between genres and stamped right over the old ways of expressing ideas, transmogrifying ideas and creation into files we pop onto our iPods.

It's crystal clear: the most interesting movements express an individual's own world and morphs their universe into a fabulous new song or into dresses with great big spheres instead of sleeves (thanks again, Gareth Pugh) or, well, whatever. The crusade against the forces of conformity and control is taking place in homegrown mixtapes over mix CDs in the supermarket, fanzines over mega-magazines, high ideas over the high street. And the ideas will keep coming, they have to.

Recognizing true creativity when you see it, nourishing it and encouraging it to grow, is the only way to beat the frightening forces of things like the pop idol machine, high street fashion factories and lookalike magazines and models. Do your own thing, keep reaching up for those high ideas and never look over your shoulder; because that's what being fierce and being creative, is truly all about.

- By Emma Warren and Elizabeth McGrath for Coolhunter.net

(no subject)

March 17th, 2009 (10:02 pm)

After spending an entire soppy day stoning at home while my fingers were typing out my projects on autopilot, I’m here diverting, diverting in an effort to revive my brain. (I don’t quite think I was built for long hours of quiet, solitary, indoor working really. Yaaargh.)

And I found these in my cupboard!
Mini me!

Me and the cousins.

Sundays after mass with cousins gabriel, angie and audrey.

Yup, I'm the over-eager camera lover.

And moreover, mini mel!

Seriously, I do think she was one of the cutest babies around.
Look at that cute soya-bean face. EEE!

In between my free hours, have been been scanning through some sections of a book someone lent me, Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides.
One of his passages made me burst out laughing:

" Father Mike was popular with church widows... Part of this essence came from Father Mike's perfect contentment at being only five foot four. His shortness had a charitable aspect to it, as though he had given away his height."

Now that's a short joke I haven't heard yet, haha. (and trust me, I've heard alot.)

Anyways, here's the end of my diversion. work time!

(no subject)

February 26th, 2009 (11:03 pm)

Flashes of the week over:

My poor funky grandma has been in a terrible state.

After contracting a bad case of shingles, she’s been in a lot of pain. The doctor’s said her nerves have been ravaged by the virus, eaten, if you will.

The nights have been sleepless for a lot of my family because she screams a lot from the pain. Then she found a medication that soothed the pain a little, but it seems to make her entire body so weak she can’t walk, go to the toilet herself, eat, and throw up too. So she needs a lot of close supervision.

It is quite terrifying to see someone you know, able-bodied one instant, and reduced to little more than an invalid the next; needing to be carried around, fed and brought to the toilet like an infant.

She hasn’t been very optimistic either; on flip moments she starts taking out her stash of cash and attempting to divide it between me and my sisters like an inheritance.

Fortunately she seems a little better now, she can walk and talk better now.

(Last week she took out her false teeth and started puckering her lips at me for a good night kiss. Haha. Sometimes she really scares me.)

But for one thing, it is really an eye opener to have to really take care of an older person when he/she can’t take care of herself. It’s a humbling experience, for much as you can will, go where you want, say what you want and do all you please today, you with all your strength and glory would have to lean on someone else for help, eventually.

On a lighter note, me and some girlfriends went over to Andy’s place yesterday, and I think we did a pretty cool job sprucing up his study.

The ceiling of birds

The brilliant designer

Look, I painted the ceiling! (if you're reading this, yes matt, it's not fiction, i managed to reach the ceiling)

My missile shaped bird.

(no subject)

January 9th, 2009 (12:09 pm)

Too many books and too many thoughts and some days you get like this.

Perfection and Perfectionists.

December 26th, 2008 (12:34 pm)

Found this sheet in my cupboard the other day.

Someone once drew a comparison for me, of the Perfectionist and man of Excellence.

It blew my mind.

Been meaning to write this for ages, but with the flurry of Christmas and exams, it’s been shelved for quite awhile.

So let me blow the dust off this entry, and try to frame in words what’s been on my mind.

Perfectionism	the Healthy Pursuit of Excellence
1. I am motivated by the fear of failure or by a sense of duty	1. I am motivated by enthusiasm and I find the creative process exhilarating
2. I feel driven to be number one, but my accomplishments, however great, never seem to satisfy me.	2. My efforts give me a sense of satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment, even if I'm not always the "greatest".
3. I feel I must earn my self-esteem. I think I must be "special" or intelligent or successful to be loved by others.	3. I enjoy an unconditional sense of self-esteem. I do not feel I have to earn love by impressing people with my intelligence and success.
4. I am terrified by failure. If I do not achieve an important goal, I feel I have failed as a person.	4. I'm not afraid to fail because I realize that no one can be successful all the time. Although failure is disappointing, I see it as an opportunity for growth and learning.
5. I think I must always be strong and in control of my emotions. I'm reluctant to share vulnerable feelings like sadness, insecurity or anger with others. I believe they would think less of me.	5. I'm not afraid of being vulnerable or sharing my feelings with people I care about. This makes me feel closer to them.

It is said the enemy of creativity is the fear of failure.

Perfectionism is often mistaken for perfection, but perhaps it’s something else.

This little chart told me that.

Perfectionism is an insatiable pursuit of perfection.

Simply put, Perfectionists are never satisfied with anything.

Nothing is ever good enough, and in turn, they eventually feel they are never good enough.

It’s not an uncommon perspective, especially for Asians who’ve grown up hating failure, fearing the loss of ‘face’.

Personally, I’ve grown up being told that it is better not to try something, than to do it badly.

It really is a dangerous disposition that keeps you from freely creating.

And keeps you from loving who you are.

Compare this with the perspective of the Icelanders.

My friend Val’s been reading this book by Eric Weiner, “The Geography of Bliss: The grumpiest man on the planet goes in search of the happiest place in the world ”, in which Weiner investigates cultures around the world and how they manage this little thing called Happiness.

Anyways, he mentions the culture of the Icelanders, one of the heavy contenders for the position of highest scorer on the World's Happiness Index.
Fascinatingly, according to Val, “Embracing failure
with good intentions” is part of their culture.

Says Val of the book,

“It's a norm for
Icelandic teenagers start a garage band
with their parents’ full support.

According to Weiner
these kids don't expect success 'cos
'...it's the trying that counts.'

If they fail,
they can always bounce back
and try again.

… the Icelandic people
are hardly told they're not good enough,

so they are free to
sing, paint and write.

See, failure doesn't carry a stigma here,
whether the weather be good or not.

No wonder, Iceland produces more artists and writers
per capita than any other nation.”

In short, Perfectionism suffocates who you are simply because of the fact humans can never be perfect. We aren’t made that way.

If you ask me, Excellence knows how to appreciate the person and the effort given.

It’s knowing how to be thankful for what you are; loving what you are and what you do.

Having that, the possibilities are endless.

Stage.

November 27th, 2008 (10:42 pm)

On the Ostentatious Stage

The curtains pull back

For a song from a bird in a cage

Sounds of applause cloak like a blanket

Before you know it

How you would hurt just to have it again.

Stride through the sighs and the cheers

Every move crafted to endear

How they do love you

Icon, star;

Invincible; for an eternal second

When the crowd noise does arise,

You could miss the voice that softly sighs

Do you know what you really are?

Endless, the hours you did practice

For the makeshift platform of praise

All for a moment

Before you drop behind the curtain, strange once more

You think affections last,

But they don’t quite really,

No more than it takes excitement to fade from the heart.

And icon becomes unknown once more.

But in the still and in the quiet

Maybe you’d find one who would stick by you.

In a whisper and a touch

You’d have all you really needed.

On Friendship.

October 29th, 2008 (06:18 pm)

I was talking to Carol the other day, about the power of friendship.

I told her, the one powerful thing I’ve learnt from her, is her revelation of friendship.

Something that goes beyond ministry, or anything of the like.

Real friendship reaches places that nothing else can enter.

I remember how Clarice and Valerie reached for me so many times; times when I looked like I was half gone.

I remember Clarice’s patient, longsuffering love in my darkest, and wildest days.

Honestly, I was anything but pleasant.

The way she was there after I pushed her away, and how she stayed to collect her broken, delinquent friend.

And how she’s always here for me, up to this very day.

Anything she does, I can trust her heart for me.

Seriously, she’s like my right arm: completely irreplaceable.

If she left, it’d be like chopping off part of my body.

And for Valerie,

I remember the deepest moments we had, sharing fears, dreams and hopes.

The time when I came back from London, looking like something the cat dragged in, and she came to find me with Miss Zhang.

And more recently, one time when my life had hit a dead end, and her words really brought the break through I’d needed for months.

She is really an amazing woman, one of determination, power and creativity.

I do love her very much.

I would never want to lose her either.

And not forgetting Cecilia,

How we clambered over our reservations to become friends.

I remember those revealing moments when we were going home together on the MRT (sometimes with a few tears too. Ahahaha! We should never take public transport together)

And the way she kept giving, even in lack.

And oh, her little messages that touched me so much too J

I thank God for my strong friends, more than anything.

And I was telling Carol the depth of this, how much it meant to me.

So she said, you know, that really is the heart of God.

That He really simply wants to be our friend.

I understand, that even as my relationship with God showed me how to be a better friend,

my strong friends do also represent a picture of Him to me.

And these are the friends who have shown me that.

Just the way a human father was meant to show us something about our heavenly Father, so do godly friends.

Just look at it this way: He knows when to comfort, when to confront, when to draw near, and when to give a person room.

He knows how to search you out when you pull away; when you run away from him, from reality, because you were too frightened to face it.

And He understands you completely, which is what every person in a relationship of any kind really longs for: to be understood and loved, just the way they are.

And He loves it, just like a friend does, when we reveal our deepest heart, our sincere emotion to him, and then stay to listen when he replies, and in turn, consider his heart and feelings.

You’d have an easier time understanding that, when you’ve experienced something of the like.

It really is interesting, people say they can’t see or touch God, so His love is not enough.

Not whole enough to satisfy.

I once lamented the fact I couldn’t feel Him with my hands. Couldn’t touch, couldn’t see Him.

But along the way, He really has placed little representations of Himself all along the way.

So I know how He looks like.

How this relationship between Him and me is supposed be like.

So I could know how to respond to Him, and the role He’d like to play in my life.

That is, to be my closest friend J

*Apologies for the extremely long entry.
I do have a humungous love for conversation, even with open cyberspace.
Ahhahaha!

Fighters.

October 21st, 2008 (02:58 am)

I met someone lately, and we talked about people who overcome.

About fighting battles.

I’ve been reading too, about people like Dr. Ulf Ekman and Phil Pringle, who have resigned themselves to the lives of warriors.

Like I’ve said, it is human nature to take the quick way out.

I met a client today, and thanked God, for she was so pleasant to deal with. No trouble at all.

Then He said, “don’t rejoice in battles easily won. Rejoice in battles fought hard, and well won.”

What is costly, and worth the world, never comes easy.

Someone once said the greatest tragedy is not death, but a life lived without purpose.

We all know that, but we often accept the price for a purposeless life, and kick at difficulties, walking away prematurely.

But the one who holds through, will win the life worth living.

We could get through life easily, and happily enough, without really attaining much, by living small; by rejoicing in easily won battles, from day to day.

In fact, this is probably the easiest and most common way people get distracted into living futile lives.

Lives that they’d never be happy with, if they dared to stop and scrutinize.

By becoming so easily contented with little victories each day that are big enough to sate the human need for achievement and fulfillment temporarily; big enough to create the illusion that their lives are going somewhere, that they can’t actually see that all the activity actually meant nothing.

Victories that actually didn’t quite matter so much after all.

Good fighters know what they fight for, and they don’t compromise.

Motivated ignorance, is as useless as trivial victories are.

It is vital that we know what we want to do with this life, what we want to show for it at the end.

And then we need to have the strength and courage to stick it through.

A simple formula, a simple method really.

But in the fire, eyes go blind, and Wit and Rationale flee.

Then only determination and strength would get you through. Because turning back is not an option, and staying where you are then would consume you.

Which is why we all need to learn to be Fighters.

It is the only thing worth doing.

Don’t live any other life than one you believe powerfully in.

And if you would so choose, you wouldn’t be without help.

“Blessed be the Lord my Rock,

Who trains my hands for war,

And my fingers for battle

My loving kindness and my fortress,

My high tower and my deliverer,

My shield and the One in whom I take refuge,

Who subdues my people under me.”

- Psalms 114:1-2

From the Strength of strong,

from the Warrior King,

from the Maker of victors,

you could ask strength.

Missing persons?

October 16th, 2008 (11:40 pm)

It is said that while the mind spins fast, the heart moves slow.
The will is such a powerful thing yes, but then, the heart always has its way with the human.
It makes sense then, sometimes, to hold on for your heart to catch up.

To make sure it’s in one piece, before you go anywhere.
Because you really should never do anything without it.

All of it.

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Monet Painting.

I R Creatiff.

(no subject)

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Perfection and Perfectionists.

Stage.

On Friendship.

Fighters.

Missing persons?

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November 2009